


i will come back

by Aayeitsmegabs (Aayeitsmecayden)



Series: Swanqueen Random Stories [6]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Anxiety, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, Military, OOC Regina Mills, chapter 2 gets angsty, just so we are clear, mentions of anxiety and depression in chapter 2, no one dies, worrying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-07 12:29:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11623560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aayeitsmecayden/pseuds/Aayeitsmegabs
Summary: Honestly, she should have told them before the letter even got to her house, but how was the topic of serving in the Marine Corps ever supposed to come out?





	1. she goes

**Author's Note:**

> Even though I did my research, I do not know everything there is to know about Marines and/or The United States Marine Corps, so they might be some incongruencies. Nevertheless, if I offended anybody with anything that is written in this story (it was not intentional, I can assure you), please let me know so I can change or replace it with something else. 
> 
> If anybody reading this story has served in the armed forces, I thank you for your service and have the utmost respect :) 
> 
>  
> 
> Text in Italics, outside of dialogue, is thought.
> 
> I don't own Once Upon a Time

She was supposed to tell her, _them_ , two days ago after their weekly family dinner, but after Henry started talking about school and projects and stuff like that, it slipped her mind. And after they tucked the twelve-year-old boy in, Regina was kissing her and that quickly turned into something else and, really, she didn’t even want to think about anything else but Regina's body pressed against her own.

And even _if_ she remembered how the hell was she supposed to tell her girlfriend of, literally, two months and two days that she's supposed to go back to Afghanistan? It really isn’t a frequent topic of conversation and Regina not knowing about that part of her past made it a bit harder for her. Emma sighed looking at the sleeping form next to her, she had to leave in less than a week and she really needed to tell Regina and Henry, she didn’t know how though. She can't just come up and be like ‘Hey Regina, I have to leave to Afghanistan in like five days. Why? Oh because I'm in the marines and all that. So yeah, hope you're cool with that.’ She knows that will end badly so, not an option.

* * *

 

**_Monday – 4 days until departure_ **

She sighs heavily, her head between her hands looking down to the paperwork on her desk. She has been thinking, for two hours, about how to tell Regina and Henry about her departure. She’s supposed to leave on Friday and she is literally going mad. She wants to do this right; she doesn’t want them to think that she's _abandoning_ them or anything like that so she's been thinking how to do this.

Suddenly she hears footsteps and quickly tries to look busy, but then Emma looks up and sees that is Henry so she drops the pen and smiles at him. He smiles back a little uneasy. Emma knows straight away that something is wrong and frowns.

“Hi, ma,” Henry says entering her office slowly.

“Henry, is everything okay?” Emma asks, worried.

“Mm… well you see, I was looking for my PS Vita at your apartment when I…umm… found…” he takes a sheet of paper, neatly folded from his pocket. Emma's face goes pale. “…This.” He finishes. Henry places the paper on Emma's desk right in front of her. Emma looks from him to the paper twice before picking the paper and unfolding it. She only needs to see the shield at the top of the page to know it’s _the letter._

“Care to explain?” Henry said and Emma was surprised at his tone. It wasn’t the anger she expected, its… sadness. “You're leaving?” he asks before Emma can say anything.

After a couple of seconds she answers, “Yes, Henry, I am leaving. But I swear I'm not abandoning you or your mother, or whatever other thought crossed your mind when you were reading this. This is not optional but I will come back and we’ll be a family.” Emma rounded her desk and placed her hands on his shoulders. She could see some tears forming in his eyes and that caused her own tears to form. “It's only eight months Henry and I’ll be back before your birthday, okay?” she whispers.

“Okay.” He whispers back and Emma hugs him tightly while her own tears go down her cheeks.

They break apart after a couple of minutes both with tears rolling down their cheeks. They laugh lightly before Emma asks “Wanna have lunch with me? I know you are dying to ask me stuff.”

“Yeah, sure,” Henry says rolling his eyes.

* * *

 

They were seated at granny’s, both of them with a cheeseburger, fries, and milkshakes. They’ve talked about school and other stuff but Emma knows Henry wants to ask her about the Marines.

“Okay kid, stop being so awkward and ask me the real questions,” Emma says smiling when his eyes widen.

He sighs with a smile, “What rank are you?”

Emma chuckles, “I'm a Sergeant.”

“Wow…” he says amazed. He thinks his second question, “When did you enlist?”

Emma bites her lip, “Umm like three weeks after I was released from jail.”

“So you’ve served almost twelve years?” he asks and Emma nods. He nods back impressed. “How many medals do you have?”

“I don’t know, kid. I haven’t counted them in a long while.” She saw his face fall and chuckled, “but you can count them for me if you want. They are on my uniform.” His face lit up and she smiles calling Ruby for the check.

When they were already outside he all but ran to her apartment. After a short walk, they finally arrived and she took her Dress Blues out of her closet and showed Henry all of her medals. He was awed for a couple of seconds before he started counting them and asking Emma what they were for. Emma just laughed and explained patiently.

About half an hour later they were sitting on the couch, Henry asking about her tours and Emma recalling everything she could remember about him, without the gory details in some of her experiences. After a couple of minutes where Henry seemed to think about his next question, he looked at her seriously and asked

“Have you told Mom?” She winced a little and he had his answer.

“No, kid, I haven’t.”

“Why not?” Henry asked tilting his head a little.

“Because, Hen, this isn’t normal conversation topic and your mom doesn’t even know I'm a Marine,” Emma said with a frown. _Oh my god, how am I going to do this?_ She thought.

“Well, you have to tell her.” Henry said in his ‘duh’ voice.

“No shit, Sherlock.” She snapped and instantly winced. “I'm sorry Hen I didn’t mean to snap at you.” Emma said apologetically.

He dismissed her with a wave of his hand. “What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. I need a plan, like ASAP.” Emma said.

His face lit up and he grinned. “What we need is an Operation.”

“An Operation, really kid?”

“Yes, and we’ll call it… Operation… Bronze Eyes.” Henry said and dismissed Emma's raised eyebrow. “And this is what we’ll do…”

* * *

**_Wednesday – 2 days until departure_ **

Regina was driving home as fast as she could without surpassing legal limits. All she wanted was to curl on the couch with Emma and Henry, watch a movie and just relax for the rest of the evening. Today has been stressful, with too much paperwork and too many boring meetings. And to top it all off, Regina noticed how Emma has been acting around her lately. Nervous and rather quick to end their interactions. Since Monday, when instead of Emma bringing her lunch for her she found Ruby with a sheepish smile and her lunch, she began to worry. Later that night she found out that Emma had lunch with Henry and she was a little bit relieved. Tuesday rolled around and Emma left rather quickly that morning; later at lunch, Emma did bring her food but said she had to go right after setting the food down, she had frowned and asked why but Emma just bit her lip and said she had too much paperwork piled up at the office. She let her go but could easily read the lie in Emma's words.

And today Emma again left pretty fast after breakfast and at lunch, she was once again met up with Ruby bringing her lunch and a note from Emma. _‘I'm so sorry ‘Gina. I swear I’ll make up for the last few days. Emma xx’_ it read and Regina had sighed before thanking Ruby.

Now it was almost six and she was parking her car in the driveway. She noticed the yellow beat-up bug and unconsciously a small smile graced her lips. She sighed and got out of the car before walking to her door and unlocking it. The first thing she noticed was the smell of food, then as she walked a little bit more she noticed the table.

“Emma?” Regina called.

“In the kitchen.” Came the almost immediate response. Regina sauntered towards the kitchen to see her girlfriend stirring something in a pot.

“What’s all this?” Regina asked and Emma jumped a little having been immersed in her own thoughts to hear Regina walk in.

Emma turned away from the stove, setting the spoon down, before moving towards Regina and giving her a quick peck on the lips as a ‘hello’. “I thought we could have dinner tonight, just the two of us,” Emma clarified.

“Oh, where's Henry?” Regina asked smiling.

Emma chuckled, “He’s having a sleepover at Kevin’s.”

“So that means we have the house all to ourselves?” Regina asked in that husky tone that made Emma shudder every time she heard it. The blonde nodded and Regina smirked before kissing her deeply. “Great.” She stepped back and turned around before starting to walk towards the stairs throwing an “I’ll go change while you finish dinner,” over her shoulder.

Emma was left dazed in the middle of the kitchen. When she heard Regina's last phrase she shook her head with a smile and went back to making dinner. Hopefully, everything went well and the night finished with what Regina was implying. She worried her bottom lip as she went over the plan Henry had told her on Monday. Once again she was so immersed in her thoughts that she didn’t hear Regina coming back to the kitchen fully dressed and hugging her from behind making her jump. The brunette placed her chin on Emma's shoulder while one of Emma's hands went to the ones placed on her stomach.

“Penny for your thoughts, darling?” Regina said sweetly and Emma sighed. _This is going to be so hard_ she thought. Last time she had to go she didn’t have to say goodbye to anybody, she was alone and that, she guesses, made it a little bit easier. Now, now she had a son and the person she… loved. Yes, the last few days has made Emma realize she loved the brunette and just the thought of being away from her made her heart drop and thump in her chest. And let's not get started on Henry.

“It's nothing. Let's just enjoy dinner.” Emma said and turned around in Regina's arms and kissed her. When they parted Regina looked at her with a raised eyebrow, a look that said she wasn’t fooling anyone. Emma sighed, “I’ll tell you after dinner, I promise.”

“Okay.” Regina let it pass when she saw the nervousness in green orbs. She stepped away from Emma slowly and helped carry some stuff to the table.

* * *

They had finished dinner five minutes ago and were now cuddle up on the couch with a glass of wine each watching some ridiculous show on the TV. Just that neither of them was really watching the show, both of them inside their heads trying to figure out how to break the somewhat uncomfortable silence. Finally, Emma decided it was time to bring up the topic she has been avoided for the last few days.

“ ‘Gina, babe, you awake?” she whispered in the brunette's ear.

“Hmm?” came the response from Regina that was pretending to be interested in the show but was watching Emma from the corner of her eye.

“I need to talk to you,” Emma said softly. The brunette took a deep breath and sat up from her position on Emma's chest.

“Okay then. Talk.” It came out harsher than she intended but her mind has a nasty way of playing with her and creates the worst possible scenario that could come up in any situation.

Emma flinched a little at the harsh tone but knew Regina well enough to know that it was a defense mechanism. “I…I… I have something to tell you.” She stuttered and mentally cursed herself.

“I figured as much,” Regina said folding her arms. She watched Emma open and close her mouth a couple of times before sighing. “Emma if this is you trying to break up with me, just… save it.” Regina said trying to maintain her voice firm even if she, literally, felt her heart break.

Emma stared at her in shock before shaking her head. “What?!” she shrieked. “Regina I'm not trying to break up with you.”

“You're not?” Regina asked visibly relaxing. When Emma shook her head she sighed, “but you have been getting distant the last few days and seemed so nervous around me when we talked or something.” Regina said with a sad smile.

“I know and I'm so sorry ‘Gina, but I've been planning with Henry on how to tell you what I have to tell you,” Emma said and got up from the couch to walk back towards the kitchen, leaving a puzzled Regina behind. Nearly ten seconds later Emma emerged from the room with a piece of paper in hand. She sat next to Regina and smiled sadly at her. “I received this letter about a week ago. This is why I've been acting strangely the last few days.” Emma said and handed the paper to the brunette. Regina looked at the paper then at Emma before receiving a nod. She returned her gaze to the paper and took a deep breath before unfolding it. The first thing she noticed was the shield, she had seen it before but couldn’t remember what it was for. Her eyes traveled a little bit to the right and in black, bold letter it read: _The United States Marine Corps._ The first thing that went through her mind was _what the hell is this?_ but kept reading anyway.

Emma watched as Regina's eyes flashed trough the page and the different emotions that could be seen in brown orbs. _Confusion, sadness, understanding and was that… pride?_ The blonde was a nervous mess so she got up and started pacing in front of the TV looking at Regina intently.

Regina, on the other hand, had a million things running through her mind. She's a _marine. When the hell did that happen? Sergeant, that’s a big title isn’t? She has to leave for eight months to Afghanistan. Eight months, I don’t know if I can survive that long without her. But she has to do it; it’s her duty. Sergeant Emma Swan is my girlfriend, oh my god._ She reread it one more time to check that she didn’t miss anything before looking up towards a nervous looking Emma Swan with tears in her eyes.

“You're leaving?” Regina choked out and Emma was right next to her, wrapping strong arms around her in a heartbeat.

“Yes,” Emma said, her voice full of emotion.

“For eight month's” Regina stated more than asked.

“Yes,” Emma repeated and the older woman knew that the blonde was trying not to cry. “But I will promise you something right now. I will come back, Regina. I’ll come back, to Henry and to you, I promise you that.”

At that Regina cried onto Emma's shoulder and the blonde let the tears escape as well. After a little while of clinging to each other like their life depended on it, they calmed and started talking. It was nearly two in the morning when they climbed up the stairs to Regina's room, they were tired after their night of sharing past stories and crying a bit more when Regina realized that Emma was leaving in less than two days. Now they just wanted to cuddle up in bed and cling to each other, reassuring each other that everything was going to be okay.

* * *

**_Thursday – 1 day until departure_ **

Regina wakes up to butterfly kisses along her shoulder and neck, and a smile instantly reaches her face before even opening her eyes. When she does open them, she sees a smiling Emma hovering above her. She closes the gap and kisses Emma deeply earning a moan from the blonde. They part with a sigh and a bright smile on both their faces.

“Morning,” Emma says, her voice thick with sleep.

“Good morning, dear,” Regina replies before cuddling closer to Emma, making the blonde wrap her arms around her. “I'm taking the day off.” She murmured with closed eyes.

“Oh yeah?” Emma whispered with a smile.

“Yes. And you should do the same.” Regina said.

“Hmm, I don’t know. My boss is pretty strict.” The blonde teased.

“As your boss and girlfriend, I'm telling you to have a day off with me and our son.” Even though it might seem as a command Regina said it with a soft voice and a smile.

“If you insist,” Emma said, kissing Regina soundly. After a couple of seconds, she traced Regina's bottom lip with her tongue asking for entrance that was immediately granted. They battled for dominance, neither of them really winning. Regina placed her cool hand on the hot skin on Emma's stomach making the blonde moan. Regina separated from the blonde’s mouth and started trailing kisses along her jaw and neck while slowly riding Emma's shirt up. She took it off in a well-practiced move and started placing open mouthed kisses on Emma's chest, slowly getting to a hardened nip-

_Crash. Clink. Crash_

Regina's head shot up at the sound making the blonde groan in frustration. _Really, now?_ She thought while looking for her shirt and tugging it on. _Whoever is downstairs is going to get a piece of my mind._ She opened the door with Regina right behind her; they walked down the stairs and towards the kitchen where the sound came from. Once they get there they see glass scattered around the floor and a sheepish looking Henry with the broom.

“Sorry?”

“Henry, what were you doing?” Regina said walking forward and taking the broom from the boy to clean up the mess.

“I was trying to make breakfast since it’s umm…” he looked at Emma for confirmation and when she nodded, he sighed “Ma’s last day here.”

At that Regina's face softened and she busied herself with cleaning the glass so nobody could see her forming tears.

“Thanks, Hen, I appreciate the sentiment but next time ask for a little bit of help. Okay, kid?” Emma said ruffling his hair.

“Okay.” He replied.

Emma walked to Regina and helped her clean the glass offering her a small smile when she saw the unshed tears. Emma kissed her forehead and in less than five minutes they had everything cleaned up. Emma put everything away before starting the coffee machine and turning to Regina and Henry. They were exchanging sad glances before Regina engulfed him in a hug unaware that Emma was looking at them with a tear rolling down her cheek. Her family, she had to return to her family. She waited until Regina let Henry go to talk again.

“So, what does the Mills family want for breakfast?” Emma asked cheerfully.

Henry seemed to ponder on his answer, “Apple pancakes and hot chocolate.”

Emma chuckled, “So pancakes and hot chocolate for the young boy. What will the beautiful lady have?”

“I’ll have your famous omelet and some coffee,” Regina answered with a blush.

“Coming right up,” Emma said before going around the kitchen picking the ingredients for breakfast.

* * *

Regina let Henry skip school so they could have a family day, she called her office and canceled all her appointments and Emma called her deputy. Breakfast was a blast with Emma making jokes and tossing pancakes in the air while they laughed. After that, they decided to go to the park so they cleaned the kitchen together and then took turns to take showers and even though Emma joined Regina in the shower she had to keep her hands to herself. When everybody was ready they got out of the house and started walking towards the park. They played soccer, played with Pongo when Archie walked by with him and just had family fun. Henry brought his camera so he took a picture every time he could. _For when I miss her,_ he thought with a sad smile. They spent the day like that, with laughs and smiles and pictures. The only moment they stopped was to get a quick lunch and that didn’t turn out to be more than an hour.

It was nearly six thirty when Emma said she had to go to the apartment and when Regina asked ‘Why?’ Emma just looked at her with a sad smile and both brunettes knew why. She had to pack and get her uniform for tomorrow. They walked silently towards Emma's apartment and the blonde tried to be as quick as possible but Regina followed her to the room and when she took out her utility uniform tears formed in Regina's eyes as the brunette traced her last name with her thumb. After that Regina just looked at her before leaving the room without another word making Emma sigh and frown.

She walked out of the room seven minutes later, camouflaged duffle bag in hand. Henry glanced at the bag and some tears formed in his eyes but he quickly blinked them away. Regina was behind him with a hand on his shoulder and some tears running down her cheeks. _My family, I have to come back to them_ she thought as she watched them in front of her. With a nod, they left the apartment and made their way towards the mansion. 

* * *

“What are we having for dinner?” Henry asked half an hour after they stepped inside the mansion.

Emma leaned to whisper something in Regina's ear and when the brunette nodded she smiled, “I thought we could order some pizza and watch a movie, is that okay with you Hen?”

“That sounds great, Ma.” He said before walking towards the TV and starting his video game. Emma chuckled before grabbing the phone and ordering their usual. When she set the phone down she saw Regina walking towards the kitchen and followed her. She found the brunette looking out the window to where her apple tree was, Emma could see some tears in Regina's eyes so she silently wrapped her arms around the brunette's waist feeling how Regina relaxed into her touch.

“This is really happening, isn’t?” Regina asked voice loaded with emotions.

“Yes.” Emma croaked.

The pizza arrived twenty minutes after and now they were settled on the couch watching The Amazing Spider Man 2, Henry eating his third piece of pizza on the floor while Emma and Regina cuddled on the couch, the brunette running her fingers through Emma's blonde hair. Emma sighed at the caress, _I'm going to miss this, them so much_ she thought and closed her eyes.

Once the movie was done Henry said good night and went upstairs so he could get some sleep. Regina placed a kiss to Emma's cheek before whispering, “Emma wake up,” on the blonde's ear. Emma stirred a bit and slowly opened her eyes seeing the TV turned off and Regina with an amused smile.

“I fell asleep, didn’t I?” Emma asked sitting up and rubbing her eyes.

“Yes dear.”

“It's your fault, though.” Emma said hoarsely, “that thing you do with my hair is sleep inducing.” She chuckled.

Regina laughed, “come on sleepy head, let’s go to bed.”

Emma got up from the couch and folded the blanket Regina wrapped around her with a smile. Once finished she picked up the plates and the box from the pizza and took it to the kitchen setting everything on top of the counter so they can clean it up tomorrow. She walked out of the kitchen to find Regina at the bottom of the stairs waiting for her. She smiled and kissed her softly on the lips. Regina hummed against her lips and deepened it by tracing her tongue over Emma's bottom lip. Emma moaned when Regina's tongue entered her mouth fighting for dominance. They broke apart when air became a necessity but Emma kept kissing down Regina's neck and smirked when she heard a moan. She pressed her lips to Regina's weak spot behind her ear before huskily whispering,

“Let's finish what we started this morning.”

“Let's.” Regina groaned.

Emma grabbed the back of Regina's thighs and lifted her up making the brunette wrap her legs around Emma's waist. The blonde carried her to their room while kissing Regina. Once inside she pushed Regina against the door making it close in the process, using the leverage she used one of her hands to unbutton Regina's shirt while trailing open mouthed kisses on all exposed skin her lips could reach. When the last button was gone she gently put Regina down still trapping her between herself and the door. Regina opened her eyes and Emma let a little moan at how lust-blown they were. The brunette smirked and placed a hand on Emma's shoulder gently pushing her towards the bed.

When the back of Emma's knees hit the bed, Regina made her sit down. Emma placed her hands on Regina's waist before kissing just on top of her panty line while maintaining eye contact. Regina couldn’t contain the moan that escaped her and another rush of heat went to her core. Reluctantly she stepped back and smirked at Emma's little whine of protest. Regina slowly slid her shirt off her shoulders and swaying her hips a bit she undid her jeans, turning around she slid them down smooth legs bending down more than necessary so Emma could see how wet she is. When she heard a groan from behind her, Regina's smirk grew. She went back to full height and turned her head and winked at Emma. She faced the blonde again and walked to her, straddling Emma's hips she placed a kiss to pink lips before moving to her ear.

“Oh yeah, definitely going to finish what we started.” She purred and, Emma shuddered and moaned.

 _Best night ever,_ she thought and when Regina started kissing her neck she knew it had only started. 

* * *

**_Friday – 10 hours until departure_ **

Regina woke up to soft hand drawing patterns on her back, she sighed happily. Opening her eyes slowly she turned her head a little and smiled when she saw bright green staring back at her.

“Good morning, beautiful,” Emma said softly while placing a hand on a tanned cheek and tracing her thumb over a cheekbone.

Regina leaned into her touch and sighed again, “Good morning.”

“I was thinking, maybe we could have breakfast before… um… hitting the road.” Emma said, voice hoarse.

Regina nodded silently before placing her hand on top of the one on her cheek and kissing Emma's palm softly. “I'm going to miss you so much.” She croaked and tears formed in her eyes, a few escaping and running down her cheeks.

“I'm going to miss you more, babe,” Emma said hoarsely, tears of her own making their way down. “But we can do this. I’ll try my best to send you letters just so you know I'm okay. Eight months and I’ll be back. I’ll be home before Henry’s birthday.”

Both of them noticed how Emma called Regina's house _home_ but neither said anything about it. A sob escaped Regina's mouth and Emma instantly wrapped her in a hug, kissing the top of her head. 

* * *

**_Friday – 7 hours before departure_ **

Regina watched as Emma took her uniform from her duffle bag and more tears formed in her eyes. _It seemed that today the tears are going to come back every five minutes_ she thought with a roll of her eyes. She slumps back on the bed while covering her eyes with her forearm. She doesn’t know how much time passed before a throat cleared and she sat up again. Her jaw hanged opened when she saw Emma on her Dress Blues.  

She wore a long-sleeved midnight blue coat with a standing collar and white web belt with her rank on a golden waist plate, white peaked cap, plain white shirt, sky blue trousers, white gloves, and black dress pumps. With all the ribbons of the medals worn on her left chest. _She looks so… good_ Regina thought.

“So… um how do I look?” Emma asked shyly.

“You, my love, look absolutely gorgeous,” Regina said standing up and walking towards Emma. The blonde grinned and wrapped her arms around Regina's waist before kissing her.

“Thanks,” Emma said once they parted.

“You are welcome. Now let's go before it gets any later.” Regina said walking towards the bedroom door.

Emma nodded and picked her duffle bag before following Regina down the stairs and into the foyer. “Let's go, Henry.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He said mock-saluting her. She chuckled and ruffled his hair making Henry groan. Regina sent them a sad smile before subtly wiping a tear that rolled down her cheek.

“Okay, let's go,” Regina said opening the door.

* * *

  ** _Friday – 30 minutes until departure_**

Emma eyed the gate with a frown, she didn’t want to leave. Her home, her family is right here and even though she promised them she would come back she isn’t completely sure, nobody that joins the Marines is completely sure they will come back. War is unpredictable, anything could happen. She turned around and addressed mother and son, both with a sad expression on their faces. She set her duffle bag down and kneeled in front of Henry.

“I need you to be strong, okay buddy? You are the man of the house and you need to protect your mom while I'm not there. Don’t let her get isolated in the house and make her go outside with you or Kat, okay? Can you do that for me, Hen?” she said softly wiping a tear that had fallen from his eye. He nodded and she smiled, “Okay. Just remember that I love you, alright?”

“I love you too, Ma.” He whispered and Emma engulfed him in a bear hug while tears made their way down both of their cheeks. Emma pulled away softly and told him to take a seat on the chair that was a couple of feet away from them. He nodded and quickly made his way towards the chairs.

Emma stayed kneeled a little bit longer watching Henry run and sit down. She looked down and sighed before standing up to talk to Regina. The brunette was silently crying and the sight broke Emma's heart. She placed her index finger under Regina's chin making the brunette look at her while interlacing their fingers with her other hand.

“I know this is not the time nor the place to tell you this but…” tears made their way down Emma's cheek, “I love you, Regina. I've known for a while now and even though I'm telling you now, it doesn’t mean I'm only saying it because I'm leaving. I will come back, Regina. To you and to Henry. I will come back to my family.” She finished and kissed her softly, chastely.

More tears appeared on Regina's eyes at the confession and once they parted she was quick to speak, “I love you too Emma. And please… please…just come back to us,” her voice breaking slightly.

Emma nodded and called Henry back with them. He ran back to his mother side and Emma looked from him to Regina and back to him. “I love you guys, always remember that. I’ll see you in eight months.” Emma said quickly picking her duffle bag and turning around. She started walking with the vision blurry from the tears. She didn’t turn around as she passed the gate because she knew she wouldn’t make it if she did.

Regina and Henry watched her go both with tears running down their cheeks. When she didn’t turn around they understood why; they wouldn’t make it if she did. Ten minutes passed before they decided to go back to the car. Regina held her ground all the way to the parking lot, not a single tear dropped from her eyes, even when her eyes filled up with them. She unlocked the car and climbed in; that’s when she let the tears fall, her forehead touching the steering wheel, hands gripping it tightly and sobs rocking her body. 

Henry instantly wrapped his arms around her trying to offer any kind of comfort while whispering, “She will come back,” over and over again.


	2. she returns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ!!!!
> 
> 1)There are mentions of anxiety and depression, as well as a main character that has anxiety and I go somewhat deep into their mind. So, please, if you feel like this will trigger you or cause any harm to your mental health, read at your own caution, or exit the story if necessary.
> 
> 2)The 'Regina' of this story is very OOC, partly because I haven's watched the last 4 seasons of OUaT and this is an AU, mostly because she's based on an original character of mine, and that's why she has anxiety and depression amongst other things that will not be mentioned in this story. Of you feel that this will disturb you too much, read at your own caution, or exit this story if necessary.
> 
> Have a great day/night
> 
>  
> 
> Text in Italics, outside of dialogue, is thought.
> 
> I don't own Once Upon a Time

Regina doesn’t know what to do. Henry’s birthday is the next day and she hasn’t been able to get last minute preparations ready. It’s 2 pm and she needs to call the bakery to confirm the cake delivery (which in itself is pretty anxiety inducing since she hates making phone calls), tell Kat to get Henry’s present from the garage and put it in her room so it’ll be easier to move on the actual day, and see if she can get any communication with Emma, something she hasn’t been able to do for the last  _5 weeks_. That’s right, she hasn’t talked to Emma for the last month and a week and it is driving her crazy. Her anxiety has gone up which means pessimistic thinking and that goes to an episode of depression. She doesn’t know where Emma is, or how she is. She doesn’t know if Emma is still even alive. Thinking about that possibility always makes her heart do a painful squeeze and tears to spring to her eyes, even though she knows that if anything happened to Emma she would be notified. Still, the thought is there, and she ponders about Henry and how he is handling all of this.

She looks at the phone in her hand when it starts ringing with her sisters’ number. She takes a deep breath, to calm her heart and mind. She picks up on the fourth ring.

“Hi, Z,” Regina answers as cheery as she can.  _No need to worry anyone._

“Regina, hey. I was just calling to confirm about tomorrow. Every mom at yoga keeps asking about Henry’s party…” Zelena says, sounding a little weird but Regina is too busy to acknowledge it.

“Yeah, it will happen unless something comes up. It’ll be starting at 1:30 and will probably go until 6, but it’s a Saturday so it might turn into a sleepover. I’m preparing for that too,” she ends with a grimace and remembers that Zelena isn’t here to see it. “Just thinking about 15 prepubescent boys running around in my house with a sugar high, gives me heart palpitations.” She chuckles and smiles when she hears Zelena laughing through the phone.

“Yeah, that’s gonna be quite the experience. I can stay afterward if you want, to help you control them? I have a mean wicked laugh; I could probably scare them to sleep,” Zelena says.

“I don’t know Z, we’ll see how I feel tomorrow,” Regina answers back, starting to move around her kitchen.

“Kay, let me know if you need anything else for tomorrow, alright? I don’t want you stressing about this too much. They are kids, give them sugar and they will be happy.” Zelena says while laughing.

“I’ll let you know if I need anything,” Regina says with an eye roll, playing with the little hand towel that’s next to her sink. “Z, I have to go, I have to call the bakery before 3 so that I know they’re coming tomorrow without any complications.”

“Okay, talk to you later or tomorrow. Bye.”

“Bye!” Regina says and sighs once she hears the call click off. She has so many things she has to do and the worry at the back of her mind doesn’t seem to go anywhere; it makes tasks ten times more exhausting. She doesn’t even remember taking her medication this morning, but that’s something for later.  _Right now, it’s cake time._

* * *

It happened again. There was absolutely no communication with Emma. They are able to reach Emma's base but her squad is never there. The worse part is that they can’t give her more information because “it’s classified” and that makes her feel worse because it probably means she's out there, or she's somewhere where telling other people could endanger her safety.

She’s pissed. She is livid, because Emma made her, made  _them_ , a promise. To come back, to come back before Henry’s birthday, and she's breaking that promise. The most important one, the one that matters, the one that counts. This will be remembered, as a good memory or a bad memory, and oh Regina wishes, desires with all her heart, that it will be a good memory in all of their minds. She doesn’t know what she would do, how she would handle it if Emma didn’t  _come back_.

_How will Henry take it?_

_What will I tell him?_

_How am I going to continue living my life without her?_

_How will I tell my friends, my sister?_

_What will I do?_

It’s a tornado inside her head, pushing and pulling these questions around. Another voice, the rational one, tells her everything is okay; it looks for reasons and explanations as to why any of this could be happening. Her anxiety wins, of course, but it’s a battle and it’s  _exhausting_. She finally manages to sleep at 2:46 am.

She still doesn’t know what to  _do._

* * *

Her alarm blares through the room and she snoozes it as quickly as it started ringing. There’s a weight on her eyes and she feels like she hasn’t slept a minute. Her chest feels tight and heavy, she feels like she will not be able to get up from the bed, but she starts to think about Henry and how excited he was for today, she can’t take that from him. She  _won’t._ Today is not the day her anxiety wins; she won’t let it be. She's proud of herself for making that decision. And she's proud of herself when she gets out of bed and gets showered and dressed. It’s all about the small things sometimes.

Before she knows it, it’s 12 and the cake arrives. Henry has been jumping on walls of how excited he is and it makes her smile. She gave him his present during breakfast and he squealed, before giving her the tightest hug. She relished in it; she learned it helps to keep her grounded and in the present. She mentally thanks him a hundred times by the time he lets go.

She physically has to stop Henry from eating the cake, and once Kat and Zelena arrive, she puts them in Henry-sitting duty. Yeah, it was that bad. He’s really excited, and once her friends arrive it multiplies and he dashes to the backyard to play with them. At least she doesn’t have to worry too much about them, the backyard is plenty safe for 13 year-olds and nerf gun wars.

* * *

 

Kat approaches her after 2 hours of being holed up in the kitchen with the excuse of making snacks (she's been hiding, let’s be real), and Regina just tries to ignore her while she rolls up ham and cheese, then sticking them together with a tooth pick. Kat really doesn’t buy it one bit.

“So, Regina, how’s the rolling going?” Kat asks with as much sarcasm as she can muster. (It's not much, she's not a sarcastic person).

“It’s going Kat, almost finished.” Regina replies with a serious face.

Kat still doesn’t buy it, and she's also tired of the charade. “Regina, I know you. I know you’ve been hiding in here for the last 2 hours, looking at the front door anytime somebody even comes close to it. What’s up?”

_Dammit._ Regina sighs and stops rolling the cheese. She looks at Kat’s face, open and ready to listen, and caves.  _Fuck._ “My anxiety has been acting up really badly, I really can’t concentrate on anything.”

Kat nod, brows scrunched up. “Can I know why? Is it work? Is there something wrong with Henry?” she asks concerned.

Regina sighs and shakes her head no. “I have absolutely no idea if Emma is okay and I’m so worried Kat,” she explains and Kat looks at her surprised. “I haven’t been able to communicate with her for the last 5 weeks, that’s 35 days of radio silence Kat. Her commanding officer won’t tell me because it’s ‘confidential’ and I get it, but there’s been nothing at all. No Skype, no phone calls, no letters. I’m so worried, what if something happened to her? I’m not married to her, god knows when I would even be notified if anything happened.” She has tears running down her cheeks and Kat almost sprints to her to give her a comforting hug. Regina breaks. The sobs leave her mouth, the tears don’t stop and her body shakes from head to toe. She hopes and wishes that nobody can hear her from the backyard.

“It’s going to be okay, sweetie. I bet Emma is perfectly fine. She’s probably going to get your call today and she’ll be apologizing so much and everything will go back to normal.” Kat whispered in her ear and, god, she tried to believe those words, tried to find comfort in them, but she couldn’t. Instead, she found comfort in the hug and the laughs she could hear from outside.

After 10 min of crying and hugging, she was calm enough to let go of Kat. She didn’t look up at her blue eyes though; she wasn’t able to do so. She hated when people saw her cry; it made her feel needy and like a burden. Regina cleans her face a little with the hand towel next to her on the counter.“Thank you, Kat. For being here and comforting me, it helps a lot.”

“Thank you, Kat. For being here and comforting me, it helps a lot.”

Kat looks at her with soft understanding eyes, even though she can’t see it. “I will always be here, you're like my sister. And I know you’ll do the same for me if the time calls for it.”

Finally, Regina looks up, but she isn’t exactly looking at her eyes. “That’s very true.” She looks at the tray of ham and cheese and tries to come back to the present situation. “I better take these outside, those kids most be hungry.” She grabs the tray and heads for the door that leads to the backyard. The doorbell rings and she wonders who else is missing, she's about to turn around to get it but sees Kat walking towards it. She walks outside with a big smile and a shout of “food!!!” She has never seen people move faster than these kids when they spotted her.

Surprisingly, it’s Henry who gets to her first, the biggest grin on his face and a twinkle in his eye. That’s what gives her the drive to keep going every day, and she’s so grateful. She smiles back and kisses his head when he’s close enough for her to do so.

“Are you having fun today, Hen?” she asks while watching the other kids get some food and run off again.

“Yeah, thank you so much mom.” He says and kisses her cheek before running off after his friends and she chuckles.  _Damn the energy of these kids._

The tray is finished not even three min later. She’s surprised, to say the least. She gathers the empty plates around and starts walking towards the door leading to the house. As soon as she crosses the threshold and closes the door with her left foot, some of the paper plates leave her hand. She curses quietly and kneels to pick them, trying not to get her hands too dirty. She straightens her back and finally looks up from the floor. What she sees makes her drop everything  _(everything)_  to the floor once more.

She notices the blonde hair first; her eyes land there on instinct. She can’t believe it. Next are the eyes, those green eyes that made her world stop on its axis; the same eyes that could never be erased from her mind.  _How could they?_  Her path continues, to pink lips, forming the same charming smile she fell for a year ago. All this? It takes her five seconds to assimilate, and then she's running like she's never run before. It’s Emma.

Arms encircle her waist and lips collide with hers, and she feels complete, like the missing piece to her life  _came back home._ They move in synchrony like they didn’t stop doing this for eight months like they have been together this whole time. And it feels amazing. Emma can taste the salt from Regina’s tears of absolute relief.  _Fuck, she's finally home._ There is no other thought on Regina's mind, and there’s no other emotion coursing through her body but love.

They part almost a minute after and it’s slow like they don’t want to, and they don’t. Emma opens her eyes first, taking everything in front of her, in. Her gaze moves down a tan face multiple times before brown eyes meet hers. They can’t fight the smiles that bloom on their faces.

“You're really here,” it’s a whispered statement; it’s also a question. Regina can’t believe this.

“I’m home, Regina,” Emma says, kissing her again.

They part again and then Regina takes a small step back, taking Emma’s hand into hers. That’s when she starts noticing everything else. Like the bruises and cuts on Emma's face, the cast on her left hand. She frowns and tears up, her right hand coming to caress the blonde’s face softly, gently; afraid. Her eyes rake up and down Emma's body, checking for more injuries.

“What happened?” Regina asks and it feels like the wrong question.

“A mission gone bad, I don’t want to talk too much about it right now.” Emma says and there’s pain in her eyes. A pain only war can imprint on someone.

Regina nods, she understands. The brunette looks up at her favorite pair of eyes and leans in for a kiss. Once again they move in synchrony.  _It feels amazing to be home._  Someone clears their throat behind Emma and they disconnect lips, their bodies still very close; Regina is mindful of what other injuries Emma might have

“Welcome back Blondie. I believe a certain birthday boy will be happy to see you, Emma.” Zelena says, a soft smile on her lips.

Emma beams and looks down at Regina, planting a kiss to her forehead. She starts walking towards the back door, the brunette by her side. She never wants her anywhere else.

“I’ll introduce you, it’ll be fun to see his face,” Regina says while grabbing the door to open it. Emma nods.

“Okay, I’ll stay back here until you say that I’m his last birthday present, that’ll be my code,” she says, and Regina nods kisses her and walks outside. She scans the back for Henry and spots him to her far right.  _Oh, this is going to be good._  Regina smiles, she still can’t believe it. “Henry! Can you come here for a second?”

His head shoots to her and she's scared he might get whiplash. Henry runs to her with a smile and hair bouncing. “What’s up mom? Do you need help with anything?” he asks and she's so proud of him.

“No Hen, I just wanted to tell you that your last birthday present is here.” She looks at him as she hears the door open. His face is completely priceless, a mixture of shock, happiness, suspiciousness, and surprise. The moment Emma says “surprise” he’s running towards her and embracing her. Emma grimaces but her smile never leaves her face.

“Ma! You're here! You're actually here!” Henry says, excited.

“Yeah, kid. I'm actually here.” Emma looks at Regina with a smile and soft, caring eyes.

“I'm home and I’m not going anywhere.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes? No? Maybe? Tell me what you think.
> 
> Also, this part two has two versions; one that was written shortly after I finished writing chapter one (almost a year ago, but I didn't post it until recently because of anxiety), and the second (this one) which was written today at 5 in the morning, and I have been having the shitiest week, so super duper sorry if this is shitty. Let me know if any of you is interested in reading that first version. It's completely different. Lighthearted too. Anyways! Let me know.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes? No? Maybe? Tell me what you think.


End file.
